Well bonjour to you dear reader. How long has it been since I last communicated in this fashion? Well it feels like ages to me. So pull up a chaise and regardez-vous at my latest offerings whilst I’m having a mini break at Fiona’s apartment in France.

This edition will see a video as well as my ramblings - so you may want to steel yourself with a creme de menthe (I know I am, and it’s only 11am).

After the last few months of looking after mum and going through redundancy at work - things have been a bit tough - so thanks to Fiona - I’m taking the opportunity to get away from it all (including reliable 4G - the horror!) and have a little relax. Suffice to say I appear to be immediately coming down with a summer cold. Grr.

Less about me. I know you’re here for the videos and pictures of food, so without further ado lets press on.

Monday night was spent prepping for my sailing to France. This time it’s Portsmouth to Le Havre. I know? Fancy! However there are several pluses to that route I have discovered. The crossing time is shorter by about an hour. It’s £150 cheaper (more to spend on pain au chocolat). I get to drive over both ‘scalextric bridge’ and the pont de Normandie (look it up - the latter is my fave bridge - and I like it even more than the Prince of Wales bridge (formerly know as the second Severn crossing)) And the drive to Fiona’s is about half the time from Caen. Only slight downside is that the service is described as ‘economie’ - namely there’s less Dave Double Decks style entertainment on the ship. There’s not as many restaurants to choose from. And the ‘boutique’ is literally open for an hour during the crossing making bulk purchases of Rive Gauche more tricky. I did however have a nice ‘sea view’ cabin. But it appears that my luxury executive balcony had dropped off...

Now - Travelodge Portsmouth. PRIVILEGED RANT FOLLOWS - There’s a hotel gem if ever I saw one. By which I mean I will never step foot in that shithole again. Whilst trundling mes baggages back and forth to my room from the car there where a number of, well, to use Marketing parlance, C2DE-types staying there. They were discussing ‘the trial’ saying one of them was sure to ‘get off’ - amidst a general environment of ‘that coppers’ bent/judge is a wanker’ etc. I think the highlight was when one of them was smoking. At what I’d estimate is 8 months pregnant. I understand stress - but really? I decided to have dinner in the adjoining ‘restaurant’. The food to be fair was okay (burger) - but it makes the Jockey Club in Shameless look like the Savoy Grille. Anyhow - it was just somewhere to stay overnight so I could be up early for my crossing.

After a restless night without much sleep I was up at 4.30 to be checking on-board at 5.30. Car safely parked (in the open air), and after a light breakfast, I retired to my cabin to sleep.

Arrival was straightforward. And before you could sing the first verse of La Marsellaise I was on actual french roads heading to Fiona’s.

Oh - a treat I will never grow tired of. Stopping at the toll plaza to pay. In a British car. Cue lots of stretching across my passenger seat putting my back out to hand my crisp euros over to a toll operative who appears to have Tyrannosaurus rex arms.

Happily, and frankly unbelievably in high summer, I got a parking spot directly outside Fiona’s apartment. So I didn’t have to walk too far with mes baggages.

Fiona’s apartment is lovely. It’s very peaceful. Save for the bells of St Leonards ringing out a million o’clock. I jest. It’s actually quite nice. And confirms that my phone and watch had changed to the right time (I never really trust them).

Honfleur is also looking lovely. It’s busy. And over the next few days I will be exploring to see what’s new - and what’s gone - and one benefit of the pound crashing is that I don’t need to do my Dianne Abbott maths on the currency exchange rates. £1= 1 euro.

Right - I’m feeling a bit toppy now - so I’m off in search of baguettes for lunch. Then there’s gardening to be done! Enjoy the vid…